Why People With ADHD ‘Delay’ Bedtime, According to Neurodiversity Coach

A neurodivergence coach has gone viral on TikTok with an explanation of why people with ADHD often delay going to sleep.

Despite being tired after a long day, Kelly Banks, 40, points out that some people with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder may find themselves “avoiding sleep.”

Racking up over 521,000 views, the video explaining “revenge bedtime procrastination” has resonated with thousands. Banks, from Austin, Texas, exclusively spoke to Newsweek about how this can affect day-to-day life and provided her top tips aimed to help those affected wind down on an evening.

During the September 13 clip, she explained that people with ADHD stay up late to make time for themselves because their day felt too “chaotic, overwhelming, or demanding.”

“After a day of feeling scattered or pressured, many ADHDers want control, so delaying sleep is a way of pushing back against all the demands and tasks,” she said, adding: “so instead of winding down, they stay engaged in activities that feel good in the moment, even though they will pay for it the next day.”

Banks told Newsweek: “Delaying sleep can significantly exacerbate common ADHD problems like impaired focus, increased impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, and reduced ability to manage time effectively.

“A disrupted sleep schedule can also intensify brain fog and hyperactivity (both internal and external), making it harder to follow routines and complete daily tasks.”

An estimated 7 million U.S. children aged 3–17 years have ever been diagnosed with ADHD, according to a national survey of parents using data from 2022. However, some adults may have the condition without ever receiving a diagnosis.

The symptoms—such as fidgeting, disorganization, and trouble focusing, to name a few—can lead to challenges in various areas, including work, home life, and relationships. In adults, these symptoms may present differently, with hyperactivity manifesting as intense restlessness. As the responsibilities of adulthood grow, symptoms can also become more pronounced.

So far, the video has gained a lot of attention—many from viewers who tuned in during the early hours of the morning.

A common theme seems to be from people who feel like they have been “called out” while watching at 4 a.m., for example. Other comments explain the reason why people opt against an early bedtime.

“It’s the only time I can just sit without worry of being interrupted,” said one user and another shared a solution, they said: “Unfortunately the only way for me to avoid this is to work for a max of 4 hours a day and have the rest of the day to myself.”

10 Tips for Winding Down Before Sleep

Banks has shared the following tips for people who struggle to switch off before bedtime.

1. “Permission to Quit” Alarm: Set an alarm an hour before bed to remind you to step away from activities and wind down.
2. Body-Based Grounding Rituals: Engage in body-calming activities like alternating hot/cold showers, progressive muscle relaxation, or gentle yoga stretches.
3. Guided Visualization YouTube Videos: Listen to visualizations that guide you through calming imagery before bed. ADHDers often have big imaginations, so visualizations can be more effective than trying to “clear your mind”.
4. Brain Dump: Spend a few minutes before bed brain dumping your thoughts, concerns, worries, and feelings. Let it be a stream of consciousness. Don’t edit it or re-read it.
5. Tactile Comfort Zone: Use textured blankets, pillows, or fidget toys to engage your sense of touch for relaxation.
6. Make Your Bed and the Surrounding Environment More Attractive: When possible, invest in really beautiful and comfortable bedding that you love. Incorporate multiple lamps that let you change the vibe of the space and naturally cue melatonin production. I love salt lamps for this!
7. Breathing Bookends: Use a simple 4-7-8 breathing pattern (inhale 4 seconds, hold 7s, exhale 8s) when lying in bed to encourage sleep.
8. Bedtime “Screen Swap”: Swap screens for physical books or audio-only content at least an hour before bed.
9. Tactile Breathing Patterns: Try breathing exercises where you trace a pattern on your hand while focusing on the sensation.
10. Moonlit Mindfulness: If possible, sit or stand by an open window and gaze at the moon or stars for a few minutes.

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