A mother has received praise online after asking her 16-year-old daughter to pay back $1,000 for a bridesmaid dress she no longer wants to wear.
In a post to Reddit by the mother, using the name u/Aromatic_Agency_8653, the woman explained that her teenage daughter Emma had initially pushed to be part of her older sister’s wedding party, but decided to back out one month before the wedding.
Newsweek spoke to psychotherapist Fatemeh Farahan about the consequence the post’s author gave her daughter and whether or not it was fair.
“Emma really wanted to be a bridesmaid and pressured her sister to include her. We agreed to cover the cost of the $1,000 dress, shoes and fittings,” the mom wrote. “But now, Emma is refusing to participate, claiming the dress is unflattering and she’s uncomfortable.”
With the bridesmaid dress being non-returnable, the mother decided that Emma would need to pay back the cost, either through part-time work or a payment plan using gift money.
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Some family members criticized the mother for being too harsh, leading her to field the question on Reddit.
However, online commenters came to the mother’s defense and praised her actions.
“She’s 16, not six,” one user wrote. “You don’t get to just ‘change your mind’ this late in the game without consequences. OP [original poster] is completely in the right to expect Emma to pay for the dress.”
“This probably messes up the whole bridal party, because the number of groomsmen will be off,” one Redditor noted. “Emma is too young and immature to grasp that.
“I’d have a heart to heart and see if you can help her through her insecurities. But also explain the ripple effect of her choices and that she will be made to feel it.”
An expert opinion
Licensed psychotherapist and author of “Wired for Happiness,” Fatemeh Farahan, told Newsweek that while it’s important to consider Emma’s feelings, holding her responsible for the cost of the dress is a valuable life lesson.
“Teens learning that their decisions come with responsibilities, especially financial ones, is crucial. Emma isn’t being punished for changing her mind—she’s being asked to take responsibility for a choice she made,” Farahan said.
Farahan added that Emma’s decision-making might be influenced by typical teenage emotions and insecurities like body image or social anxiety. Still, she emphasized the importance of balancing empathy with accountability in the mother’s approach.
“This could be a great opportunity for the parents to teach Emma how to express her feelings and concerns sooner in situations like this—before things escalate to a $1,000 dress drama,” she said.
The mom’s decision to require Emma to repay the money was seen both on and offline as fair parenting. Commenters and Farahan agreed that it would help Emma understand that financial commitments come with consequences.
“If handled with empathy and clear communication, this can be a textbook example of fair parenting,” Farahan said. “It teaches Emma that financial decisions have real-world consequences, while also giving her the space to express her feelings and concerns.”
Newsweek reached out to u/Aromatic_Agency_8653 for comment via Reddit.
