A woman has taken to the internet to share a confession that is making other mothers feel seen.
An Instagram video posted by Becca Maberly has gained attention after she revealed she doesn’t enjoy playing with her children or doing activities that are messy. Maberly, 46, who is an author, and pregnancy and postnatal expert, spoke to Newsweek about why she shared this online and how she hopes the conversation on motherhood can change.
“I don’t like playing with my kids,” she said in the video. “Make pretend games or role play make me feel awkward or nauseous. I hate crafting with my kids…Despite not being great at all parts of this parenting thing, I am a really good mom.”
@amotherplace/Instagram
Maberly told Newsweek that she shared the video because she “got sick of the narrative” that there are set ways to be a good mother.
She said that messy activities, and baking, in particular, are horrible for her to imagine doing with her young children.
“I sometimes find it hard to relax into the activity if I know I have extra cleaning up to do afterwards,” she said. “I find it difficult and stressful to make a cake when I am alone, let alone with a toddler and a 3-year-old. The end result is usually an inedible waste of time and money, and I would much rather put my efforts into something we will all enjoy more.”
Instead, Maberly said she enjoys doing a variety of things with her children that don’t stress her out.
“I would rather kick or throw a ball with my children, take them on the bus or train to visit someone or see something interesting, or just mess around and talk about silly or fun things that make us laugh,” she said.
‘Try Something Different’
Maberly’s confession went over well on Instagram, with many mothers in the comments appreciating the permission to agree. “I find this level of honesty refreshing,” @catyeboah28 wrote.
“I thought I was the only one. Welcome to the club. The worst for me is playing Barbie!” @jessicastokes3020 wrote.
“Gosh, it’s so nice to read this,” @zosner wrote. “The guilt I feel for not being good at just ‘playing.'”
Maberly acknowledged that the dominant narrative around motherhood can make confessions like hers difficult to make.
“It can feel shameful to admit you don’t like participating in certain activities which people seem to think moms should naturally enjoy,” she said. “But like so many of the taboos surrounding motherhood, I never shy away from talking about them because I know that I never the only one and I know how helpful it can be for other parents to feel seen and heard.”
For other moms fearful to take this leap and make motherhood work for them, Maberly said she advises developing a sense and trust of their intuition.
“I would advise other moms to…listen to their guts. Give things a go, but if the activities feel awkward or stressful, then move on and try something different. You will find your sweet spot in time,” she said. “I wish the conversation would focus on the individuality of each parent-child relationship and reassure people that they do not need to be pigeonholed just because they have become a mom!”
