A man has turned to Reddit for advice about his wife’s poor timekeeping that not only interferes with their plans but their 4-year-old son’s too.
Racking up 32,000 upvotes in just 24 hours, the post from the 34-year-old man (u/AdMuted1534) said he has been with his wife for 10 years.
“Ever since we started dating, my wife has chronically been late,” he wrote. “I can count on one hand how many times I remember her being on time. She has this bizarre tendency to leave when we’re supposed to be arriving at whatever venue we’re going to.”
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At first, he thought it was “humorous and almost endearing,” but now it is problematic because it is affecting their child. He said he is the family’s breadwinner while his 33-year-old wife stays at home, so the day care drop-offs and pickups are her “responsibility.”
“In the middle of August, our son’s daycare sent out a group e-mail informing us that there would be a new fee for any late pickups,” he wrote. “Every minute that a parent was late, the daycare would tack on a $2 fee. 10 minutes late would incur a $20 fee.
He continued: “To be perfectly honest, there’s no doubt in my mind that they started this because of my wife, who was late to pick him up literally every day his first year. I’ve tried to get her to be better, but when confronted, she always has an excuse ready to go, which makes it impossible to have any discussion about the subject.”
On Tuesday, the couple received their bill for the first two weeks of September. The average cost of day care for a toddler is $293 per week, and many parents struggle to keep up with the rising costs, according to Care.com
“On top of the normal fee, I found a $262 late pickup fee on the bill, which means that my wife was late to pick him up, on average, 12 minutes per day,” the man wrote.
The man told his wife to pay the day care facility using her $800 allowance, but she “refused” and said she could not afford it. He said her “real expenses” are Netflix and her phone bill.
She tried to clear the bill with the facility but had no success. The man now faces a dilemma: Should he stand his ground or wait for her to pay, despite the facility’s refusal to care for the boy until the bill is settled in full?
Impact of Lateness on a Relationship
Relationship psychologist Mairead Molloy explained how poor timekeeping can affect a relationship.
Molloy, who is based in London, told Newsweek: “In a couple, one partner’s chronic lateness can allow frustration and tension to build, which can lead to feelings of disrespect or lack of consideration. It may result in one partner feeling undervalued and can damage their emotional connection.
“Constant lateness can also disrupt plans and routines, causing stress,” Molloy said. “Over time, this can lead to a breakdown in communication and resentment. It is best to talk openly and to try and find underlying reasons for lateness before things become unmanageable. There will be a solution that can work for both partners, they just need to find it.”
Reddit Reacts
So far, the popular post has received 12,000 comments on Reddit, and it is safe to say the woman’s actions have riled many people.
One user said: “This is not about the money alone. It’s also about your child who is sitting there, probably alone, because the other children are picked up in time, feeling abandoned and forgotten.”
Another user asked: “What the hell is a SAHM [stay-at-home mother] doing if the daycare literally takes care of the M bit? Does she spend 8 hours watching Netflix and social media?”
A third commenter said: “She absolutely and undoubtedly needs to fix this. I don’t know how you handle your finances so I won’t tell you who pays for this. This is however 100% her fault, and she needs to grow up, acknowledge it, and stop making excuses. And you should hold your ground until she does. Excuses are understandable when it’s once in a while. When there’s an excuse every other day then there’s an issue.”
Newsweek reached out to u/AdMuted1534 for comment and could not verify the details of the case.
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