A woman has sparked discussion among viewers online after sharing the distressing experience she had at the first birthday party for her husband’s affair baby.
The woman wrote in a now-deleted Reddit post from July 31 that her mother-in-law had demanded photos at the event that excluded her, something that she took badly. The post has been upvoted more than 5,600 times and has garnered over 2,500 comments, with the majority of users condemning the mother-in-law’s actions and those of the woman’s husband, too.
The woman said that, shortly after marrying her husband, he was served with paternity papers for a child he fathered during a brief affair a month before their engagement. Despite her husband’s infidelity, the woman chose to work on their relationship and is now pregnant with their first child.
Tensions reached a boiling point at his baby’s recent first birthday party, which was hosted by her in-laws. At the event, the woman’s mother-in-law repeatedly insisted on taking photos of just her son, the baby, and the child’s mother, without including her pregnant daughter-in-law.
“My mother-in-law kept saying she wanted pictures of just my husband, the mistress, and the baby,” the woman said.
Despite her husband’s attempt to include her, the mother-in-law insisted on excluding her, leading to a heated moment where the woman ultimately stepped aside while the photos were taken, leaving her feeling disrespected.
“Sadly, this woman lacks solid boundaries, and the mother-in-law is a boundary offender, something like a human lawn mower that just does and says what she wants,” Becky Whetstone, a marriage and family therapist, told Newsweek.
The therapist, who completed her doctorate at St. Mary’s University in Texas, added that the dilemma is symptomatic of poor boundaries and a controlling mother-in-law.
“The husband needs to clean this mess up,” Whetstone said. “He should not leave his wife out there to fend for herself against this unreasonable woman.”
The therapist said that the husband should firmly communicate to his mother that they will not be pressured by her, and if necessary, limit or cut off visits to protect his family. But, before much could be done by either party, the situation escalated when the mother-in-law started crying and accusing the woman of disrespecting her.
The woman described subsequent attempts to remain amicable, even inviting her in-laws for family meals. However, other issues with her mother-in-law continued to surface, culminating in a tense dinner meant to clear the air.
“I let this go and even afterward still tried to be amicable such as inviting them over,” the woman said. “Eventually, other issues with my mother-in-law surfaced.
“She starts saying she is never disrespectful, but I cut her off by telling her that what she did at the baby’s party was extremely disrespectful and hurtful. She says the [conversation] is done and she was not talking anymore. So, I left after trying to pay the tab.”
After the dinner, the woman sent a text outlining boundaries, emphasizing her need for respect, especially given her pregnancy and mental-health concerns. The lack of response from her mother-in-law led her father-in-law to intervene, defending the mother-in-law’s actions and criticizing the woman for being one-sided.
The complex situation has captured the interest of viewers online, many of whom have questioned the woman’s decision to stay with her husband despite his cheating past. They also criticized the husband’s actions and showed some sympathy for her plight.
“This is why you don’t stay with someone who cheats,” one user wrote.
Another added: “This is so messy. Not a situation I’d want to find myself in.”
“She’s [the a******] because she’s disrespectful…toward herself,” a third user shared. “I’m usually not part of the break up/divorce horde, but I can’t see what was worth saving from that burning husk of a relationship. And to birth a child for the man is absurd. The mother-in-law is the smallest issue here.”
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