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STARING at her drained bank accounts, the truth washed over Bethany Joy Lenz – she was in a cult.
The 43-year-old had fallen prey to a dark organisation in her early twenties, where she was ensnared and “abused” beneath the sway of a “domineering minister” for a whole decade.
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They stole the wage she earned as an actress, physically abused her and even put her on a “sex schedule” to keep her husband happy.
Now, the mum-of-one (who shares a daughter with another member of the cult) has opened up about her horrifying ordeal.
In the early Noughties, Bethany was a vulnerable young woman “looking for somewhere to belong” while chasing stardom as an actress in Los Angeles, California.
The group, which was headed up by a “domineering master”, handed her a religious code to live by.
Members were not allowed to ask “illegal questions” which probed the decision of the men in charge or indicated doubt in what they claimed was “God’s path”.
Leaders of the high-demand group called themselves Bethany’s “chosen family” and gave her the illusion of being better than others, wrapped in a fragile sense of “superiority”.
But soon, the promise of her superior life started to unravel, and Bethany claims the cult leaders had stolen over £1.5 million from her wage as an actress on American drama series, One Tree Hill.
“When I was in the group, they took $2,000,000 from me,” she tells.
“It was absolute financial abuse… it was just a total mess.”
The mum-of-one now recognises that she was in a cult – and she was one of its biggest victims.
The revelations come as she is releasing a memoir called Dinner For Vampires, where she bravely delves into her scary experiences.
In the book’s official description, she said her life was governed by the “domineering minister” and his son, whom she married, for a decade before she finally escaped.
Bethany had always been religious and grew up as an Evangelical Christian.
She grew up “lonely” as an only child in Florida to young parents with a “tense” relationship who she says didn’t emotionally nurture her due to how busy they were.
Her parents divorced when she was 16-years-old, one year before she got her big break on the soap opera, Guiding Light.
What Are Cults?
Cults are social groups defined by their devotion to a specific set of beliefs, practices or leader.
They often form around religious, spiritual or ideological systems, and are characterized by intense loyalty and control mechanisms.
Cults are generally viewed as having manipulative or coercive structures, where the leader or leadership exerts significant influence over the members’ thoughts, behaviors and social interactions.
In her early twenties, she upped-sticks to the bright lights of Hollywood in hope of making it big as a film actress.
She began attending a weeknight evening Bible Class with a friend, something that felt “benign” as she had done it throughout her childhood.
Then, a sinister man and his family started attending.
Bethany vividly remembers meeting them for the first time and having a “check in her gut” that made her think: “I don’t like their faces.”
The Early Days
The man, who was a pastor without a church at the time, began taking charge of the sessions.
He would discuss God, pray and sing with other members.
After a year of “investing in the lives” of those around him, he rose to the role of an unofficial leader, quietly steering the direction of the group from a “benign” bible study class to a cult.
Bethany calls him a “domineering minister” – and has revealed how he preyed on the fragility of her family ties following her “lonely” childhood, subtly working over the years to encourage her to sever connections with both of her parents.
What made it so insidious is that it wasn’t like, ‘join us, put on this robe and let’s all live in the forest together’. There was still a lot of autonomy. I think that’s how [the leader] kept everybody locked in
Bethany Joy Lenz
Several years in, after both of her parents had expressed concern for Bethany’s controlling situation, the leaders of the demanding group explicitly told her to cut ties with both of them.
“There was a meeting when they actually explicitly just told me, like, ‘you really should just cut your dad out’,” she reveals on Call Her Daddy podcast.
“I didn’t talk to my dad for six years.
“It was awful.”
Falling Deeper
Leaders of the cult allowed its members to still have autonomy and work – something that Bethany describes as an “insidious” way of stopping them from questioning the organisation.
“What made it so insidious is that it wasn’t like, ‘join us, put on this robe and let’s all live in the forest together’,” she adds.
“There was still a lot of autonomy.
“I think that’s how [the leader] kept everybody locked in, because we were all really smart.
I felt mostly superior to other people… But I still felt this sense of self-loathing
Bethany Joy Lenz
“Like, this wasn’t a group of people who were not smart, everyone was ambitious and had careers.”
Bethany landed the role of Haley James Scott in One Tree Hill in 2003, but the “domineering minister” and his counsel urged her not to trust her fellow co-stars.
They also kept tabs on her while she was at work.
Rather than living together, members of the high-demand group were in constant communication with each other through phone calls, emails and texts.
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“I felt mostly superior to other people,” Bethany recalls.
“Any cult, that’s the idea: we’ve got something special that you don’t have.
“But I still felt this sense of self-loathing.
“At the same time, because I had this self-loathing, I was jealous of other people on the show, too… of the freedom to be a mess, the freedom to explore life and ask questions.”
I was jealous of other people on the show, too… of the freedom to be a mess, the freedom to explore life and ask questions
Bethany Joy Lenz
The leaders – and her husband who was a fellow cult member – also encouraged her to turn down big movie roles that came up.
Bethany recognises this now as just another tactic the cult used to maintain control of her.
“The more that I worked, the less they would see me,” she tells.
“If I just stayed playing one character for 10 years and I never did anything else, then they know where I am all the time.”
Costly Marriage
In 2005, Bethany married another member of the cult, who also happened to be the cult leader’s son.
And they convinced her to merge her finances with her new husband, who she references as QB in her new book.
“I just did the dutiful Christian wife thing and merged my accounts,” she recalls.
“It didn’t occur to me that I was going to be taken advantage of.”
When I was in the group, they took $2,000,000 from me. It was absolute financial abuse… it was just a total mess
Bethany Joy Lenz
Speaking on the relationship, she adds: “We didn’t have a lot in common.
“There wasn’t a lot of intellectual stimulation…I mean, I kind of ran out of options.
“I couldn’t date a non-Christian. I couldn’t really date anybody outside of the group or certainly not anybody who lived anywhere outside of that area.
“So yeah, it just became this sort of arranged situation.”
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Despite not being intellectually stimulated, Bethany was expected to surrender to her husband – and never question his decisions or know intimate details about his life.
She also felt distinctly “sad” after having sex with QB for the first time, despite saving herself for marriage.
“I thought if I save myself for marriage, then the promise is amazing sex and super deep intimacy and it’s just like the best thing ever,” she says.
“God created sex and it’s just going to be the best thing ever.
I was told: ‘Just do it. This is your duty. This is your job as a wife. If you do it enough, then eventually you will find a way to enjoy it’
Bethany Joy Lenz
“And then we have sex and it’s like, why do I feel so sad?”
Bethany didn’t have a sex drive due to her lack of connection with QB, so leaders of the cult forced her to go on a “schedule”.
She was told: “Just do it. This is your duty. This is your job as a wife. If you do it enough, then eventually you will find a way to enjoy it.”
She then developed PTSD from picking her husband up from the airport and knowing she’d have to “start a sex schedule for the next two weeks”.
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Bethany began to realise something was awash with her situation after speaking to a therapist.
She had been candid with the shrink about her claims of her husband’s physical violence, which forced her to finally face the truth about her marriage.
It was abusive and controlling – and she was in a cult.
Bethany recalls: “My therapist, I remember probably two months after that was like, ‘are we ready to call it a cult yet?’
“I was very uncomfortable with it and I had to really sit with that for a while.
“Once she said that and all the pieces really started to lock into place, it became clear that it was really unhealthy.”
Breaking Free
The mum-of-one secured a home of her own and began to tackle life as a single mum, recovering from the abuse she had experienced.
She was embroiled in savage custody battles and spent $350,000 (£270,000) on legal fees to finalise her divorce.
But the court refused to acknowledge the triolgy of abuse she’d suffered.
Bethany says: “I began to realize how broken the family court system is in this country.
Please don’t live in shame. Don’t let it keep you closed off and shut down and not talk about things
Bethany Joy Lenz
“The saying is: no bruise, no case.
“If you don’t have a physical altercation with someone, they don’t consider it abuse in the court because how do you legislate or even qualify mental abuse, emotional abuse, spiritual abuse?
“That’s the hardest one too because the courts are like, ‘I don’t want to touch anything religious’. “
Bethany is now urging other victims of abuse, whether they experienced it in a cult or not, to let go of their feelings of shame.
“Please don’t live in shame,” she urges.
“Don’t let it keep you closed off and shut down and not talk about things.
“You have to let it out… You have to let it out of your body.
“This is the only way to actually find hope and move forward.”
