Say goodbye to matching outfits, vision boards, and military-style itineraries—one frustrated wedding guest is calling for a return to single-night bachelorette parties, refusing to shell out over $1,000 for the occasion.
Hattie Moore (@hattiehattiehathat), a 30-year-old from Southeast London, is taking a stand against the soaring costs of bachelorette parties and weddings, which she argues have spiraled out of control. Two experts spoke to Newsweek about why costs and expectations have skyrocketed.
“I’m at the age where a lot of my friends are getting married, having kids, and settling down,” Moore shared with Newsweek. “Lots of amazing celebrations are taking place but as a single friend, the cost of this is sometimes astronomical.”
In a TikTok video that has nearly 100,000 views, Moore expressed her frustration with the excessive financial demands placed on guests.
@hattiehattiehathat/@hattiehattiehathat
“Maybe a slightly controversial and unpopular opinion, but just because you’ve chosen to s*** the same man for the rest of your life, doesn’t mean that I should be £1,000 [$1,312.10] out of pocket to attend your hen do and wedding,” she shared on the video.
Moore has grown tired of the expectations that come straight from an Instagram play-book—matching outfits, carefully curated fun, and jam-packed itineraries.
“I’ve always opted out of the abroad hen dos or weekend getaways because I can’t justify the expense,” she explained. Some of these events have cost between £300-£400 (around $380-$510) before even factoring in drinks and spending money.
These rising costs aren’t just anecdotal. A 2023 survey by The Knot revealed that the average bachelorette party costs about $1,300 per person, with many parties exceeding this amount.
Deagreez/iStock / Getty Images Plus
For many, these expenses are unsustainable, leading to tough decisions about which events to attend.
Jessica Bishop, founder and CEO of The Budget Savvy Bride, echoed Moore’s concerns, noting how bachelorette parties have evolved from simple one-night affairs into multi-day extravaganzas.
“I totally agree that the expectations on guests have gotten a bit out of hand. Asking friends and family to shell out so much for pre-wedding events can really add up, and couples should definitely be aware of the financial pressure it can put on everyone else.
“The heart of a wedding should be about love and togetherness, not about how flashy or extravagant the event is,” she told Newsweek.
The pressure isn’t just on the guests, she explained, it extends to the couples themselves. Social media has significantly influenced wedding culture, with luxury bachelorette parties and lavish weddings becoming the new norm. “Suddenly, a chill celebration doesn’t seem good enough anymore,” Bishop added.
EkaterinaPichukova/iStock / Getty Images Plus
Chris Weinberg, founder of Chris Weinberg Events, has witnessed firsthand the dramatic evolution of bridal culture. She notes that while inflation and rising costs across the wedding industry are factors at play, the influence of social media and the desire to create memorable, unique experiences have driven the trend towards more elaborate celebrations.
“The key is balance,” Weinberg advised. “Brides should plan a celebration that reflects their personality but also consider the financial impact on their friends. The essence of a bachelorette party is about quality time with loved ones before a significant life change, not about keeping up with the latest trends or breaking the bank.”
However, Moore proved that meaningful celebrations don’t have to break the bank. In 2015, when she was a broke student, she organized her sister’s bachelorette party for just £80 (about $100).
The event included a brunch in their mom’s garden, where everyone contributed £15 (around $19) for food and prosecco, followed by a 1920s-themed speakeasy night. “I was in drama school at the time, so I got creative and helped everyone make headpieces at the brunch,” Moore recalled.
Moore’s TikTok sparked a wave of reactions, with many viewers resonating with her message.
One woman shared: “I was maid of honor and explained to the bride that I couldn’t spend more after already shelling out £1.5k ($1,900) on other events. She uninvited me and called me self-obsessed.”
Others supported Moore’s stance, with one bride-to-be sharing: “I’m getting married in October, and I’ve covered every cost I can—dresses, hair, makeup. My choice shouldn’t be someone else’s cost.”
“I also think it’s the literal devastation of not being able to afford to go when it’s your literal best friend as well,” shared one woman.
“I was MOH and explained to the bride I can’t spend more as I’d already spent close to £1.5k on hen and other events… got uninvited and called self obsessed,” said Nina.
Another woman commented, “I got myself into debt in my 20s celebrating other people. Now I’m in my late 30s, engaged, and guess what? Those people don’t have time to celebrate me. It’s not worth it.”
Though other brides defended their more lavish choices in celebrating the lead up to their big day.
“I’m doing an abroad wedding. No expectation for anyone to come. You can say no,” said Eilidh.
“Jeez getting offended because you got an invite, you can say no,” said another woman.
Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
