“I am not there yet fully, of course, and we have a lot of commitments here, but I’m definitely planning on keeping a watchful eye on how things develop and making that call for the three of us if necessary,” she said. “It’s very much a matter of ‘Is this a country I want to even participate in anymore?’ kind of thing.”
Given her daughter’s age, she didn’t need to delve too deeply into the election results, but a Harris win would have been a huge representation win for the family.
“If Kamala had been elected, my daughter would be nearly 9 when her term would end, so that would have been her girlhood,” Neilson said.
Je-Ree Olenik, an entertainment journalist, watched election night coverage with her 14-year-old daughter, who was “very excited” about the prospect of a female president who was Black like her.
As the night progressed and Trump pulled ahead, the pair “decided to put on something else to help relieve the anxiety and eventually went to bed.”
The next morning, Olenik’s daughter asked her mom what she thought Trump’s win might mean for Black Americans.
“I told her that nothing will happen to us, but we have to be aware of our surroundings and how people may feel like they can treat us out in public,” she said. “I also told her that we need to just pray for the undocumented people in this country and how the economy will change if they are forced to leave. I try to be very open with her.”
That kind of emotional openness is a positive thing, said Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist in San Diego.
“If you’re demoralized by the election, there’s actually some value in showing some level of sadness or disappointment, as it teaches kids that emotions are normal and OK to express,” said the therapist, who has a 9-year-old daughter.
“If my 9-year-old sees me sad or frustrated, I’d explain, ’I feel this way because I care so much about the future and about fairness for everyone,” Chappell Marsh added.
Children can also track the emotions you might be feeling, so honesty is key, said Akua K. Boateng, a psychotherapist in Philadelphia.
“It’s important to remind them that fighting for what’s right is always the best approach even if others do not stand with you,” she said.
“It is OK to explain the idea of differences and different views that shaped the decision in this election,” Boateng added. “Use examples they may experience in their lives. They understand disappointment more than we realize.”
It’s all a careful balance, though, Chappell Marsh said. “You don’t want to let your feelings overwhelm your kids. You want to ensure that they still feel safe and reassured.”
It’s also a great moment to remind your kids that living in a democracy means that your opinion on things isn’t always in the majority, said Allison K. Rodgers, an OB-GYN in Chicago and the mom of three kids, ages 17, 13, and 11.
“After the election, I told the kids that they need to be respectful and understanding of the process and the will of the people,” she said. “Sometimes you want something really badly, and it doesn’t turn out the way you hope. This is true for so many things, including relationships and school and elections.”
