28.
And: “I was raised Catholic and went to parochial school through eighth grade. Even when I switched to public school for high school, I remained active in my church and parish youth group. While I can’t put my finger on one specific moment that immediately distanced me from the church, many little things happened around this time that made me question the environment I grew up in and the things I was taught. There was a time I volunteered with church members at a Christmas gift drive in an impoverished neighborhood of our city. Afterward, many of them kept making snarky comments about how many of the attendees had shown up to get free gifts despite having smartphones. The ensuing conversation about members of that local community looking for ‘handouts’ didn’t sit right with 15-year-old me.”
“There was a time one of my favorite celebrities was outed as gay when photos of him and his boyfriend were leaked. It was my first exposure to the LGBTQIA+ community, and though I knew nothing about queer identities at the time, it was immediately clear to me from seeing the photos just how much they loved each other. Meanwhile, some people in my church community reacted with disappointment and hatred and vowed to boycott his work. Again, this didn’t sit right with me. Weren’t we supposed to love and respect others?
There was a time during my senior year when we were assigned a topic randomly (I think by picking out a hat), and we had to research and debate the side that didn’t align with our views. Mine was abortion, which meant I had to present the pro-abortion rights argument. Sometime after the assignment wrapped up, I was speaking to my teacher after class about something unrelated. He mentioned in passing how well I had done on the debate and that he knew it had to be difficult for me to argue in favor of a side that went against my religious beliefs (I was pretty ‘openly Catholic’ despite being at a public school). It was a moment that figuratively stopped me in my tracks as I realized that the anti-abortion argument the church pushed on me didn’t align with how I felt personally. I ‘believed’ it simply because that’s what I’d been taught. The pro-abortion rights side I’d researched for the assignment resonated with me so much more.
I had little moments like these for years, and while no ‘straw broke the camel’s back,’ suddenly when I was in my early 20s, it became abundantly clear that I didn’t identify with the Catholic tradition at all anymore. So much of what I learned through organized religion, especially in my teen years, was filled with hypocrisy and guilt. Don’t even get me started on the many ways I’m still unlearning how I was made to feel shame around my body and sexuality as a girl, and I’m in my 30s now. I haven’t set foot in a church in years other than for weddings and funerals, and I feel like a load has been lifted off my shoulders.”
—Anonymous
