10.
“I asked my dad to come visit since he hadn’t seen his grandson in a year and it was getting to the point where my kid was learning how to speak and such. My mother, who lived several states away, had come to visit three times during this period. My dad told me he was very busy, but he’d be glad to entertain us if we came to his house. I sighed, and at that moment, my entire childhood came into sharp focus. Every single thing I did with him I always had to initiate — otherwise he ignored me.”
“He would never put in more than the minimum required effort to be a parent. I realized he was still doing the same thing, and it was likely my child would experience the grandpa that I had as a dad.
Still, I gave him a choice. I said, ‘If you want to be part of your grandson’s life and our lives, then you need to come see us and not continue to make us do all the work to have a relationship with you. If you’re not interested in doing that, you should never call me again.'”
It’s been 10 years since his number popped up on my phone. Although, nine years ago, I got a message from an unknown number, so it went straight to voicemail. It was his new wife talking about how they did all this shit to make it so they had more ‘free time’ to come visit, but in the message there were all of these things trying to make me feel guilty for the conversation that I’d had with my dad a year before that.
I replied months later since it took a long time before I saw that voicemail. I said in a text message, ‘If he wants a relationship, he can reach out. This is for him to fix, not you.’ She replied, ‘I’ll let him know.’
So, yeah…I don’t feel bad about cutting him out.”
—u/ryguymcsly
